Reframing emotional eating

Are you sure you're actually hungry and not just thirsty? Are you sure you're not bored or tired? I mean even if you are hungry, have you tried ignoring it completely? Eating is so déclassé. *Sarcasm*

You: I feel like a chocolate chip cookie

Society: No, if you are actually hungry, an apple should be satisfying

You: But I am not hungry. I just felt like something sweet

Society: Still have the apple because it’s sweet and will distract you from the cookie

…So now you had the apple, and then some crackers, and then some chips, and then some cheese, and then some grapes, and then some pretzels, and then some dinner leftovers… when you could have had the chocolate chip cookie.

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Believe me, I am not saying any of this to make fun of anyone or in light of anything because this is a real feeling and also a very real scenario for many. Here’s the thing: we have been programmed by society to feel ashamed of wanting certain foods. A chocolate chip cookie isn’t exactly a food that we eat when we’re hungry. It’s a sweet and comforting food. And believe it or not, it’s normal to like foods that taste good. And I’m going to let you in on another secret - we don’t always eat just when we’re hungry. Gasp! I know.

There is some serious mental gymnastics that we do in order to decide if we have earned a right to eat. I mean seriously, even if we are hungry and our bodies are signaling to us that we need food, we often go through a checklist to see if we should, in fact, eat something. Imagine doing a mental checklist every time you felt the need to go to the bathroom. Feeling as though you had to earn this right that we need to do as humans. It is a completely nonsensical thing to think about, but we seem always to do this in regard to food and eating.

There are indeed times when we eat that have nothing to do with hunger. Part of reframing your relationship with food is knowing that you are not morally wrong for emotionally eating, and willpower has nothing to do with any of it. We can be excited, stressed, and/or bored and want some feel-good comfort right then and there. Many of us look for this feel-goodness in the form of food when we are going through emotions. We want that hit of dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter our brain releases when we do activities like playing with puppies or having sex, which contribute to our feelings of pleasure and satisfaction as part of the reward system.

Feeling confusion about when to eat, what to eat, and if you should even be eating isn’t a surprise, really, because we are always discussing “overconsumption,” and according to society, we are obsessed with food. But my question is, are we obsessed, or are we giving ourselves too many food rules? Are we obsessed, or are we overcomplicating things to the point where everyone is confused about nourishment? It’s not a surprise really on why there is so much confusion, I mean, yes, diet culture is the glaring answer, but I think there are so many cooks in the kitchen when it comes to social media as well. This means that we have an abundance of information available at our fingertips, and everyone gives their opinion on what to do based on their individual bodies. I imagine it does get confusing when you are seeking advice, and someone is telling you not to eat one way while another person is telling you to do the complete opposite. 

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The concept of eating, especially when it’s labeled “emotional,” is treated as a taboo subject.