The pursuit of joy not perfection

I watched "With Love, Meghan" to support a woman who has been forever bullied on the internet and found immense joy in the neutral stance on food on the show. I'm talking zero fear mongering.

I’m not sure what I was fully expecting watching With Love, Meghan. I knew that I wanted to support the Duchess because she is constantly on the receiving end of so much ridiculous and unnecessary hate. And to be clear, I will always support someone who is unproblematic and thriving in the face of their haters. Always.

Meghan, they could never make me hate you or your flower sprinkles.

And unlimited haters, Meghan Markle Sussex has, but for reasons that are almost hard to believe. It all started when she dared to challenge the social norms of the United Kingdom royalty by being in love with and marrying Prince Harry. Instead of forcing her into a life that made her miserable because of the constant character attacks and bullying from the monarchy and press, not to mention which made her mental health suffer, Prince Harry took his wife and their child to the States where they are seemingly thriving. This was what had brought on the onslaught of hatred, mostly from people who have never met the pair, not to mention would never even have the opportunity to. No offense, but let’s be for real here. So it comes as no surprise that many of these same people are calling the series “unrelatable” and saying that the Duchess was “trying too hard” and using any other negative wording that you can think of.

Please take a look at these headline snippets below, along with the ratings (her haters review bombed the show because, of course, they did).

I find it comical because these same people would never say the same thing about Ina Garten or Martha Stewart. I would, in fact, love for them to tell me in what way Meghan isn’t relatable but someone like Ina Garten of Barefoot Contessa is. Please explain it to me like I’m 5 years old. In fact, I already know the answer. It’s very hard (when you’re bigoted) to watch a Black woman (she’s biracial, but bigots will always treat anyone with at least one drop of Blackness with full hatred) living a soft life of leisure and doing what she wants on her terms with a husband who is a Prince fully supporting her. Let’s face it, that must be rough to watch… when you’re a bigot.

Please point out the difference in relatability between the woman on the right and the woman on the left. I'll wait.

So yes, I was excited to tune in just to give her a bump in the ratings, and I was prepared for a little cringe. I previously saw some posts about her gifting preserves for her friends, and I knew she had a chicken coop, so I was prepared for this series to go in an entirely different direction. I was not expecting to enjoy the series and be amazed at the neutral language surrounding food. I was also not prepared to want to make my own focaccia bread and charcuterie board, but here we are.

I binged the entire season in one evening, which wasn’t hard to do since it was only 8 episodes. I expected it to be background noise since I will be the first to admit that cooking shows aren’t my thing. Unless we’re talking 30-minute meals (hello Rachel Ray!) and something that I can genuinely relate to as someone who doesn’t like to cook. I have written about not enjoying cooking before and how yes, I’m a dietitian but the kitchen is not the place I find happiness. Even so, I was surprised that I was enjoying the series. Here is a woman with unlimited means and connections to food and has her own garden that provides an abundance of various produce and herbs. A chicken coop that provides unlimited eggs (let’s be honest, this is the real status symbol considering how expensive eggs are now). Even her beekeeper makes an appearance in episode one, and she has honey at her fingertips. And yes, I am very aware that the show isn’t filmed in her real home because, honestly, why on earth would it be? And quite frankly, what cooking or lifestyle show is?

So, I can imagine how having all of this available at your fingertips would make you more prone to making meals from scratch. Not to mention having the time to make meals from scratch. If I had blackberries and raspberries growing in my background, I would try to make my own preserves also. I mean, maybe I would. Like I said, I’m not really into that, but I want to give myself credit. Well, imagine my surprise watching and waiting in anticipation for the moment when she said that buying fresh was best and how the store-bought foods and produce weren’t good or healthy. I’m telling you I was holding my breath, waiting with anticipation. But guess what? That moment never occurred.

Am I so conditioned by content creators and lifestyle content that I was prejudging her and her show? Yes. And that’s when it occurred to me that living a certain way and choosing to make everything yourself is fine, and you can also simultaneously choose to not fear monger or put others down in the process. Who am I kidding? Of course, I knew this because I talk about this all the time, but it’s amazing to watch in real time. I am so used to seeing content that is rooted in negativity when discussing food, especially food in the States. “We should be making everything ourselves!” “Stop buying toxic foods!” All of these negative messages are constantly being thrown at us, yet no mention of policy changes or socioeconomic factors that can have an effect on

Also, a reminder that I have a book called Live Nourished out for a deeper dive into having a healthy relationship with food.