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I have several times heard people respond to news that someone has cancer with “What did they do to get cancer?” I assume its because people can’t bear the idea that it might be outside of their control.

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100% and the feeling of it can never happen to them is also a sign on a lack of empathy.

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I think the lack of empathy in cancer surprises me because even middle and upper class people lose loved ones, so you’d think there would be less reason to ‘other’ them.

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I notice that people assume a stronger impact of lifestyle when it comes to certain types of cancer more than others. My mentor died of lung cancer and it is often assumed that it is only caused by smoking when in reality it can also be caused by things out of one’s individual control like genetics and environmental pollution among others . My mentor never smoked and he was told that generally men in his age are at risk

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Mar 3Liked by Shana Minei Spence

This is why we have our podcast. We wanted to give people the chance to tell their own experiences, their own expertise like yours! And we get to sit down and listen. It’s been such a gift to practice empathy.

We loved our interview with you. Thank you for sharing and teaching us how we can have a better relationship and mindset around food so we can be better with it with our families.

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Yes it’s so important to listen to each other to gain perspective. I enjoyed coming on!

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I am autistic, and one of the worst stereotypes regarding autistic people is that we lack empathy. The ironic thing is, in my experience, it's usually neurotypical people who have less empathy than neurodivergent people. I don't know what the actual stats are on that, but autistic people supposedly not being empathetic has never rung true to me.

I also have ADHD, so certain things like making an elaborate meal stress me out (which is why my husband does most of the cooking). I have found things like bagged salad kits and rotisserie chicken to be huge life hacks in terms of helping me eat a more nutrient-dense diet. And yet, even those are out of reach for many people due to food costs.

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Thank you for speaking up on the importance of having empathy for our fellow human beings. I am a survivor of a violent crime; I was shot in the face during a robbery. Often when I tell people about this experience (I’ve learned to limit who I tell for fear of their reactions), the frequent response is “do you live in a high crime area?” This question hurts my heart; it grates at my soul like nails on a chalkboard. Asking where I come from implies that the crime committed by violent perpetrators is somehow my fault, simply because of where I live (btw I live in a super safe suburb. There’s no logic to this misguided question). I guess most people want to find some reason behind the attack against me, in order to confirm that they are safe and they themselves are not at risk for the very same kind of horrific crime. It feels like victim blaming at its worst. A person with empathy might say: I am sorry for your pain; I hope you are alright.

Your writing on empathy rang so true for me. Sadly, I’m sorry that you have to deal with so many bs comments from ignorant jerks. I’m grateful that you are asking the hard questions that need to be heard: where is our empathy? How to people learn to feel for others, to walk a day in someone else’s shoes? Thank you for your kind, insightful, and truthful words. Your writing gives me hope.

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