People who can eat anything they want and throw caution to the wind when trying new food anywhere, at any given time... how does it feel to be God's favorite?
This is such an important post. I have a food intolerance and have a child with an anaphylactic allergy. I am constantly bugging any restaurants we go to and so far we have had good experiences, but we also don’t eat out that often because it’s exhausting! That influencer dying was so tragic and avoidable.
Thank you very much for this article, I'm coeliac and the problem is basically the same, although I won't die if I eat gluten (not immediately anyway). It's such a struggle to speak out and ask questions, to question what I'm told... I know I have to, but the number of times I'd rather fast than speak up for myself... I need to translate the article into French so that those around me can understand the struggle.
Fellow coeliac here… and I hate hate hate all those jokes about gluten-free. I stopped being a long-time hardcore vegetarian when I was diagnosed with celiac disease so I had more options when eating out (and people would take me hopefully more serious). Now I am pregnant (yeah!), but I feel it’s even harder to explain all the accommodations I need. Of course it’s only a limited amount of time, but sharing food is a super social experience.
I cannot eat garlic (I'm not allergic, in that I won't die if I eat it, but am severely intolerant and feel desperately hungover and be out of action for the next 24 hours or more). So I am that person in restaurants etc. BUT event hosts just don't take it seriously (oh, I've been told, we thought you were just making a joke about vampires...); non-friends (oh, well that's cheaper than getting drunk and having a hangover...):( So your post resonates:(
Thank you for writing this. I have had severe food allergies my entire life and eating out is always so stressful. I know it holds me back from traveling more too. I feel like awareness has gotten better but obviously it has a long way to go. Hearing about Dominique Brown is heartbreaking and terrifying. I went to Disney shortly after Dr Tangshan died from her food allergy and I was very nervous. For the most part everyone was very helpful but I was still scared that there could be someone who wouldn’t take it seriously.
Great article! You have brought the issues we face to life so well and your experiences are totally relatable. I do think we get better, or braver, as we get older and are more prepared to ask the questions and challenge what is in our food. I know I certainly am. Would I have been confident enough to do so when I was younger? Probably not!
This post made me feel entirely seen. I really hate being THAT person, but must remind myself that it is a matter of life or death. I have to constantly explain that I’m not “just” lactose intolerant, but allergic to dairy. Then there’s three more things…it starts to feel entirely burdensome.
I’d love to hear more about experiences people have with their families, extended or otherwise.
Our recent office holiday dinner was held at a Spanish restaurant, and they were so generously accommodating to us -- one with a peanut allergy; me with no dairy, eggs, grains or nuts; another who does keto; another who was vegetarian. We all had something made especially for us when the "family" entree wouldn't work. It's not hard. And, as someone who is *deathly* allergic to horses, and explained that to a group of veterinary students -- two of whom were going to get on a plane with me and our mutual friend to fly to effing IRELAND (out of Boston) -- she said she needed to stop on the way to the airport to say goodbye to her horse. No. That wasn't going to work. Not with me in the same car and the same plane. (And, also no, washing your hands isn't enough...that dander would be on her clothes and in her hair that went past her waist.) Long story shorter, I hired a car to take me to the airport (this was in the 90s/pre-Uber), and prayed on the plane ride over that I wouldn't die or we'd have to turn the plane around to Iceland because this was when I was on Blue Cross and didn't have an EpiPen because horses, in general, are pretty easy to avoid (especially in LA; Brentwood and Malibu being the Westside exceptions). Clearly, I lived. That friendship didn't. Now, I carry my EpiPen with me (and, yes, it went to our dinner), just in case -- for me or anyone else. Which reminds me, I need to buy more Benadryl fast melts, too. That can give you/someone some time. It's too sad that arrogance cost the life of someone so young and vibrant as Ms. Brown. Because that's what it is. Arrogance. They didn't care enough. It wasn't important enough. To. Them. xo
I have several FODMAP intolerances (GOS, fructan, lactose, sorbitol, mannitol) which aggravate my gut issues (I swing between IBS and diverticular disease). I also need to avoid high oxalates (kidney stoner). None of these are life threatening but I’ve given up on eating at catered events because the caterers can’t handle the very long list of food I cannot eat. Friends don’t invite me to dinner because of said list of food. Eating out tends to be grilled protein of some sort and salad with a no to the fries, and is invariably one of the most expensive dishes on the menu. Even I find my diet challenging at times.
But what I hate most of all is the attitude from some people. Like I’m making it up, or a snowflake. Or the those who refuse to believe plant foods could possibly be detrimental. I really can’t eat most plant protein foods in sufficient quantities, and lots of other yummy veggies and fruits are off the menu as well. I’ve been told that I’m not an ‘evolved being’ and that I don’t try hard enough. I just say my vegan dietitian says I do brilliantly.
It’s always insane to me that people will ignore someone’s legitimate allergies to foods. I’m honestly afraid that is going to get worse over these next 4 years…empathy isn’t even a thing for the MAGA crowd. But, I couldn’t imagine someone saying “I’m allergic to coconut, is it in this dish?” and then saying no and not checking and having them need an EpiPen because one of the ingredients was coconut oil. That’s a horrific thing to do to another person.
This is such an important post. I have a food intolerance and have a child with an anaphylactic allergy. I am constantly bugging any restaurants we go to and so far we have had good experiences, but we also don’t eat out that often because it’s exhausting! That influencer dying was so tragic and avoidable.
Thank you very much for this article, I'm coeliac and the problem is basically the same, although I won't die if I eat gluten (not immediately anyway). It's such a struggle to speak out and ask questions, to question what I'm told... I know I have to, but the number of times I'd rather fast than speak up for myself... I need to translate the article into French so that those around me can understand the struggle.
Fellow coeliac here… and I hate hate hate all those jokes about gluten-free. I stopped being a long-time hardcore vegetarian when I was diagnosed with celiac disease so I had more options when eating out (and people would take me hopefully more serious). Now I am pregnant (yeah!), but I feel it’s even harder to explain all the accommodations I need. Of course it’s only a limited amount of time, but sharing food is a super social experience.
So sad about Brown. I carry and keep meds and epi pens for neighbors and myself because of food allergies. People just don’t get it. :(
I cannot eat garlic (I'm not allergic, in that I won't die if I eat it, but am severely intolerant and feel desperately hungover and be out of action for the next 24 hours or more). So I am that person in restaurants etc. BUT event hosts just don't take it seriously (oh, I've been told, we thought you were just making a joke about vampires...); non-friends (oh, well that's cheaper than getting drunk and having a hangover...):( So your post resonates:(
Thank you for writing this. I have had severe food allergies my entire life and eating out is always so stressful. I know it holds me back from traveling more too. I feel like awareness has gotten better but obviously it has a long way to go. Hearing about Dominique Brown is heartbreaking and terrifying. I went to Disney shortly after Dr Tangshan died from her food allergy and I was very nervous. For the most part everyone was very helpful but I was still scared that there could be someone who wouldn’t take it seriously.
I've learned to carry written instructions to hand to the server to give to chef...black and white carries a certain gravity
I have a friend who is allergic to red dye. She has to ask the waitstaff, the bartenders, and the pharmacist as red dye is used in pills.
Great article! You have brought the issues we face to life so well and your experiences are totally relatable. I do think we get better, or braver, as we get older and are more prepared to ask the questions and challenge what is in our food. I know I certainly am. Would I have been confident enough to do so when I was younger? Probably not!
This post made me feel entirely seen. I really hate being THAT person, but must remind myself that it is a matter of life or death. I have to constantly explain that I’m not “just” lactose intolerant, but allergic to dairy. Then there’s three more things…it starts to feel entirely burdensome.
I’d love to hear more about experiences people have with their families, extended or otherwise.
Our recent office holiday dinner was held at a Spanish restaurant, and they were so generously accommodating to us -- one with a peanut allergy; me with no dairy, eggs, grains or nuts; another who does keto; another who was vegetarian. We all had something made especially for us when the "family" entree wouldn't work. It's not hard. And, as someone who is *deathly* allergic to horses, and explained that to a group of veterinary students -- two of whom were going to get on a plane with me and our mutual friend to fly to effing IRELAND (out of Boston) -- she said she needed to stop on the way to the airport to say goodbye to her horse. No. That wasn't going to work. Not with me in the same car and the same plane. (And, also no, washing your hands isn't enough...that dander would be on her clothes and in her hair that went past her waist.) Long story shorter, I hired a car to take me to the airport (this was in the 90s/pre-Uber), and prayed on the plane ride over that I wouldn't die or we'd have to turn the plane around to Iceland because this was when I was on Blue Cross and didn't have an EpiPen because horses, in general, are pretty easy to avoid (especially in LA; Brentwood and Malibu being the Westside exceptions). Clearly, I lived. That friendship didn't. Now, I carry my EpiPen with me (and, yes, it went to our dinner), just in case -- for me or anyone else. Which reminds me, I need to buy more Benadryl fast melts, too. That can give you/someone some time. It's too sad that arrogance cost the life of someone so young and vibrant as Ms. Brown. Because that's what it is. Arrogance. They didn't care enough. It wasn't important enough. To. Them. xo
I have several FODMAP intolerances (GOS, fructan, lactose, sorbitol, mannitol) which aggravate my gut issues (I swing between IBS and diverticular disease). I also need to avoid high oxalates (kidney stoner). None of these are life threatening but I’ve given up on eating at catered events because the caterers can’t handle the very long list of food I cannot eat. Friends don’t invite me to dinner because of said list of food. Eating out tends to be grilled protein of some sort and salad with a no to the fries, and is invariably one of the most expensive dishes on the menu. Even I find my diet challenging at times.
But what I hate most of all is the attitude from some people. Like I’m making it up, or a snowflake. Or the those who refuse to believe plant foods could possibly be detrimental. I really can’t eat most plant protein foods in sufficient quantities, and lots of other yummy veggies and fruits are off the menu as well. I’ve been told that I’m not an ‘evolved being’ and that I don’t try hard enough. I just say my vegan dietitian says I do brilliantly.
It’s always insane to me that people will ignore someone’s legitimate allergies to foods. I’m honestly afraid that is going to get worse over these next 4 years…empathy isn’t even a thing for the MAGA crowd. But, I couldn’t imagine someone saying “I’m allergic to coconut, is it in this dish?” and then saying no and not checking and having them need an EpiPen because one of the ingredients was coconut oil. That’s a horrific thing to do to another person.